This week I began teaching private lessons in addition to teaching band and music classes. That means all of the extra free time I had last week is now gone. I knew it was coming, and I knew it would be hectic, but I did not realize I would start to crumble so much today!
When I say crumble, I mean... I started to do poorly in teaching the classes that I thought went well last week, and I started to feel super emotionally and physically drained so much so that I just felt like giving up at multiple points today. I normally need ample time to go over my lesson plan (once I finally create a lesson plan) so that I can be very aware of goals and procedures for the day's class. But holy cow. I did not get that time today. And it showed.
I feel physically drained because I was rushing from one thing to the next. Literally, a couple of times, I was RUNNING to grab things before class because I didn't have enough time to get it together and students were about to come in.
I feel emotionally drained because some of the teachers are getting irritated with kids being pulled out for lessons, me slightly running over class time, and just whatever junk I guess I do wrong.
So my conclusions for this toughest day yet: It's okay to make mistakes - just learn from them. (I just hung that sign up in my classroom) AND GET OVER IT/YOURSELF. (Rule #6 I guess, Emma!) I get really caught up in trying to do everything perfect and never make a mistake that I drive myself up the wall when I eventually do make a mistake and maybe make someone dislike me for a while. (Also, I realized that I care too much about my students liking me. Anyone else struggling with that? I need to get over it!)
My pearl for the day.... umm....making it through?
Sara, I feel for you! I had a few moments like that today too, mostly logistics holding me up with regards to accounts, ordering, budget, etc. where I just felt hopeless and at odds. I have a similar situation on the horizon (beginning band starting up), and my planning time is going to disappear. So I guess that's my first consolation: you are not alone! And I think that pearl is a good one. I'm finding that some days, the pearl is that bad days eventually end, and you get a shot the next day. Hope tomorrow is better!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you're being much harder on yourself than your kids ever will be. They look up to you! It's probably good for them to see you make a mistake or two because then they know it's ok for them to make mistakes too. We're all only human.
ReplyDeletethanks gals!
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