"Nothing."
It's a saying that my parents lovingly said to each other, and still say, when they are faced with challenges of things going wrong. It makes a lot of sense to me now, as I have tried to establish some things at my middle school band program that have been met with some mixed reviews from students and parents. The main thrust of this post will be about my experiences with my attempts to have high standards and a thorough system of accountability, and kids quitting band because of it.
In order to fully grasp this, you need a little background information to set up the stories about quitting: In college, they taught us all these creative, educationally and pedagogically sound ways to enhance band, to make it more than just deficit style teaching. These methods include things like comprehensive musicianship teaching presentations, student centered questioning, and other activities that help students learn and do music that are a bit more than "no, that's wrong, play it again."
A big component of this new way of thinking about band is assessment. We were taught that it is crucial for music education to show that it is a serious, academic subject just like anything else, in order to appease administrators who are looking for evaluation tools, and to advocate for music programs by showing that we are not just an extracurricular, we are a core subject. Music (or band) is not just an activity where students are just given As if they show up. It's a course that requires lots of hard work that can and should be assessed and evaluated. So we have evaluation tools and assessments such as playing tests and practice reports.
I do believe in that, I really do. And as I sat in my undergraduate desk, I was so excited to get out there and give kids that well-rounded, comprehensive music education. Then I got a job, and now I'm trying to make it work, and it is tough (you know what's easy?)
My students, who have never experienced any sort of accountability, responsibility, or assessment, are suddenly getting smacked in the face with all this stuff that I'm introducing to them that I was taught in college. We're doing daily listening logs, playing tests, fingering worksheets, studying the rhythm tree, and other things that are completely foreign to them. They are used to barely scraping by at a sub-mediocre level, and the director singing their parts at them enough times to essentially memorize the few songs they are working on. They aren't used to being asked to figure things out for themselves, to work hard, and be held accountable for their playing. You've probably read me say that enough times now over the past few months.
The thing that really worked against me was, with all these assessments, some kids' grades suffered, because they turned in hardly any practice reports, if any, put forth no effort on listening log answers, and did not prepare at all for playing tests. But they idea that they are ingrained with is that you just get an A in band, right? That's what my they thought, that's what the parents thought, and that is naively not what I thought. I still believe in a band program based on comprehensive musicianship, assessment, and the like, but I made a big mistake in thinking it would work flawlessly from day one. It's something you have to build up and do piece by piece. I still think it was ok to do for me to start some of these new things, but I shouldn't have made it impact grades so severely from the beginning.
Because I had a bit of a revolution on my hands. Around progress report time, I heard rumblings about students quitting. I talked with some upset parents and some upset 8th graders about why their mid-term grade was what it was and how they can pick it up. Many of them did not make that effort, and when report cards came out, many students had earned Ds and Cs, which was the coup d'grace of their band careers. The best musician in the band quit, the worst behavior problem in the band quit (hallelujah?), and another 8th grader. Morale was low, from both me and the band.
I began to see that I made a real mistake. I still believed in the changes I was making, but I did not implement them in a way that would make the transition feasible for many of my students. After 3 years of a totally different system, they were unable and unwilling to jump into mine, baptism-by-fire style. So I carefully amended many grades, raising Ds to Cs and Cs to Bs, all the while trying to not compromise the solid A that most students earned. But it was too late. How could I slap my kids in the face with this new system, give them Ds and Cs for it, and then expect them to stay in this elective?
As I write this, I realize that the essence of my problem is that I am trying hard to find that balance of fun and high standards/accountability. They can coexist. They should. Some of my students don't know it yet. It's not fun to be lost every time you come to band. But it's also not fun to see a bar set too high for where the students are at this point. They weren't ready, and I just didn't realize it.
How can I create a fun, healthy, safe educational environment where standards are high and there are many systems of accountability without students feeling constantly pressured? I want the best for them. I want them to learn a ton and perform well, all the while having fun. Any teachers or anybody out there, how do you inspire and motivate your students to work hard to meet high standards while making it fun and achievable? This may be a dilemma that is solved with time, as the rebellious 8th graders are phased out, and my own kids are raised up through the program.
That's the perfect plan to turn things around, isn't it? Do as much as you can with the kids you inherited and then grow some super players who love band, love working hard, love music, and don't want to disappoint you. But then again, you know what's easy?
More on the subject of 5th grade band and motivation in the weeks to come!
Showing posts with label making a difference. Show all posts
Showing posts with label making a difference. Show all posts
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A personal goal
Life in the country schools is all-around good; my kids are pretty darn good kids and I work with good people. But I'm realizing more and more (through failure) that teaching is really about having a lot of patience and love.
The past couple of weeks I have been trying to get my kids to work super hard on a marching band song we're playing from memory in a Halloween parade. It's been slow-going, and I've been getting extremely frustrated with small things and with my students in general. I have been jumping all over them and giving them lots of talks about how they have to take this seriously and get memorizing and pay attention in class more. I get angry quickly. I snap at students who interrupt me or who just happen to be looking away at the moment I look to them to see if they're paying attention. I sometimes talk down to them when they irritate me. And I realized last week, that is not the teacher I want to be.
The teacher I want to be is one full of love and patience. I don't want to be consumed with getting my students to create the best performance they can and with doing whatever it takes to get them there. No; I want to be consumed with developing young musicians - young people - that are going to work hard but still enjoy what they are doing. ...That are going to be good people who have experienced love and respect from adults and who are eventually going to become those adults. I shouldn't have to jump all over them for small things just because MY patience is lacking and just because I may be getting frustrated. We should be able to get things done AND have fun. And I really do think that if the students are enjoying band and having fun, they will want to keep working and practicing and making things better.
So I've come up with a personal goal this week to just be more patient and loving towards my kids. Love is what they need most anyway; so many of them get yelled at enough at home and from other teachers - I don't need to contribute to that. And I think what will help me most with being patient is just trying to have fun with them and laughing more. Like, by remembering the day they all held their instruments on their heads as hats. Wish I had had a camera. :)
And for a nice laugh...you can enjoy watching this trombone tumble: (Look near the 40 yard line on the right side of the 50)
The past couple of weeks I have been trying to get my kids to work super hard on a marching band song we're playing from memory in a Halloween parade. It's been slow-going, and I've been getting extremely frustrated with small things and with my students in general. I have been jumping all over them and giving them lots of talks about how they have to take this seriously and get memorizing and pay attention in class more. I get angry quickly. I snap at students who interrupt me or who just happen to be looking away at the moment I look to them to see if they're paying attention. I sometimes talk down to them when they irritate me. And I realized last week, that is not the teacher I want to be.
The teacher I want to be is one full of love and patience. I don't want to be consumed with getting my students to create the best performance they can and with doing whatever it takes to get them there. No; I want to be consumed with developing young musicians - young people - that are going to work hard but still enjoy what they are doing. ...That are going to be good people who have experienced love and respect from adults and who are eventually going to become those adults. I shouldn't have to jump all over them for small things just because MY patience is lacking and just because I may be getting frustrated. We should be able to get things done AND have fun. And I really do think that if the students are enjoying band and having fun, they will want to keep working and practicing and making things better.
So I've come up with a personal goal this week to just be more patient and loving towards my kids. Love is what they need most anyway; so many of them get yelled at enough at home and from other teachers - I don't need to contribute to that. And I think what will help me most with being patient is just trying to have fun with them and laughing more. Like, by remembering the day they all held their instruments on their heads as hats. Wish I had had a camera. :)
And for a nice laugh...you can enjoy watching this trombone tumble: (Look near the 40 yard line on the right side of the 50)
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Gonna be a great year
Ok, yes, it's hectic with the meetings and the preparations. But I must say, the Superintendent's welcome speech at the beginning of today's institute & general district meeting was GREAT! He showed us these two awesome videos to get us pumped up! I love the first one. (Momma T at 3:30!)
The superintendent's main point was that we need to forget about the bad press from the media or the lack of budget and just remember that we, as teachers, are just ordinary people doing extraordinary things! And so are our kids!
---
The more I think about making a difference in my students' lives and helping them believe in themselves, the more PUMPED UP I am getting! Let's just see how that pans out in a couple of weeks after class gets started. haha
-EDIT-
So, after reading this again, I realized how terribly corny it sounds. Haha. But I think that to a certain extent, we have to keep all of that corny and seemingly idealistic stuff in our minds and at the forefront of what we're doing as teachers to help keep the bigger picture in mind. Does anyone agree? Or am I being sucked up into a silly world of idealism?
The superintendent's main point was that we need to forget about the bad press from the media or the lack of budget and just remember that we, as teachers, are just ordinary people doing extraordinary things! And so are our kids!
---
The more I think about making a difference in my students' lives and helping them believe in themselves, the more PUMPED UP I am getting! Let's just see how that pans out in a couple of weeks after class gets started. haha
-EDIT-
So, after reading this again, I realized how terribly corny it sounds. Haha. But I think that to a certain extent, we have to keep all of that corny and seemingly idealistic stuff in our minds and at the forefront of what we're doing as teachers to help keep the bigger picture in mind. Does anyone agree? Or am I being sucked up into a silly world of idealism?
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Why I Teach
During my student teaching, there was a little girl that changed my life. For the sake of anonymity, let's call her Tiffany. Tiffany was in kindergarten, and was possibly the shyest, saddest child I have ever met. Tiffany and I developed a strange and special bond. In her shy, never-quite-look-you-in-the-eye way, she would wait until I sat down before she would sit down, so she could be close to me. She would lean into my lap, but only if she thought I wasn't paying attention. She barely talked in class, and when she did it was more of a whisper, but it was the look in her eyes that drew me to her so much. She just looked so vulnerable, so in need of love, and so scared. Don't get me wrong, it's not that she was tremendously different from all the other kids. She participated in class, played with others on the playground, etc...but you get my drift. It seemed like she was out of school more often then not, and I knew that her home life was way less than ideal. I don't know any details, but one can tell that this little girl had been through a lot. Even though she had all this going on, there was still just something special about her... I can't quite put my finger on it.
Tiffany and I had a major breakthrough on my last day teaching her class. My co-op and I both noticed her getting more and more confident in music class throughout the 9 weeks I was there. I think she really just needed someone to sit by her and show her that she was special! On the last day of class, we were playing an ETM game, (look it up if you don't know what that is) and I glanced over at Tiffany to see her smiling and singing away. LOUD! Later on in the class, she actually talked in a loud voice and contributed to a conversation without being called on. It was like nothing I had seen from her, and I was proud!
So, those aren't all the details on the Ms. Blazier/Tiffany relationship, but I could probably write a book if i were to include those, so I'll just leave you that bit of backstory. Let's continue. My last day at my elementary school was her last day...well it was supposed to be. Mom was moving in with a boyfriend in another town a couple hours away, so tiffany was going with her. I found out a couple days before our last day, but Mom pulled her out of school the day after our great music class, so I never got to say goodbye. I was heartbroken. I mean, I wanted to adopt this kid, I didn't want to never see her again!
I learned a lot from this experience, about teaching, about faith, and about God. Ultimately, I learned that I can make a different in kids lives through teaching. I don't know why it was me that helped her, I don't why she let me help her, but I saw a change in her, and that gives me hope. I also learned that there comes a point where I can do no more. After many prayers and even some tears, I realized that I had done all I could do for Tiffany, and that God had to be the one to take care of her. I would say that leaving her in the hands of the one that spoke her into being is a pretty safe bet, but it's still hard to let go. I know it probably seems like I am being over dramatic about this girl, maybe I am, maybe i'm not... but to me, her moving was SO SAD. I will never ever forget this little girl, and the pure but dampened light inside her!
Two days ago I walked into a restaurant with my family. Walking past a table I heard cries of "MS BLAZIER!!!!!!!" Haha, one of my second graders and one of my 1st graders were seated at a table near us. We made some small talk and everybody was happy to reconnect after several months. Once I sat down, I looked over at another table near us. There, smiling, laughing and talking with the people with her, was a little girl with wavy blonde hair and a special look in her eye. At first I didn't think it was Tiffany, just someone who looked like her. Already, I was starting to get a little emotional. I hadn't thought about her in a little while, and just the thought of the her filled me with bittersweet emotions. Eventually the little girl caught my eye, and once I realized that she recognized me, I knew for SURE that it was her. I started smiling like you wouldn't believe! I almost cried when I heard her laugh. She was so happy! We started playing our "I'm going to pay attention to you, but ooonnnly so much" game again. Eventually, heart pounding because I didn't know the two adults she was with, I walked up to her table to say hello. I had seen them looking over at me, so I knew she had been telling her guardians about me. But, Zap, Tiffany went back into shy mode. I said hi and she barely looked at me, and it was just like in the classroom. I met her dad, and he is an very genuinely nice person! I liked him a lot! We had a nice little conversation - I told him how special she was to me and how much I loved having her in class, and went back to my table.
About ten minutes later, Tiffany got out of her chair holding a piece of paper. She took one step towards me, then went back to her chair. This went on for a good 5 minute, each time she got a little closer to me, before she got scared. She eventually got to me, and handed me a note, one side from her dad, and one side from her. The side from her says, "Thank you, love Tiffany"
The side from her dad was beautiful, it spoke of how much she "adores" me, and how shy she is, and other really touching things, including mention of her rough life. I won't lie, I cried right in the middle of the restaurant when I got it. So, I wrote her a little note back and went to say thank you to her dad. Tiffany gave me a hug (which was really meaningful, because I had wanted to give her a hug goodbye when I left my school), and her dad and I agreed that there was just something special about this girl!
On this post it may just sound cheesy, or over dramatic, or crazy, but even my family who had heard only a little about Tiffany was moved to tears by this experience. It was so sad and yet so happy. To see her smiling and laughing filled me with so much joy and hope, but her shyness reminded me that her road to healing will be a long one. This experience was truly an gift from God. I had made peace with the fact that I was probably never going to see her again, and there she was. It was the perfect closure to my student teaching (ironically on the same day that I finally got around to turning in my keys to my other school!) right before I moved to Springfield for good. Who knows if she will remember me in 5 years, but I can feel that the love I showed her has helped her, even in just a small way. I can't put in into words (even though this is a really long post.... if I had it all figured out, it wouldn't be this long!), but for some reason, this little girl has changed me. She has strengthened my resolve to nurture and love kids in a way that will help them become stable and loving people. She has helped me to realize that God is the ultimate teaching and nurturer, and i can only do what I do because of Him. She has helped me tremendously.
So, once I again I have to give her to God. I hope she lives with a parent who will love her and take care of her. I hope she has teachers who don't just look over her because of her shyness. I hope she knows that she is worth loving.
Maybe our paths will cross again someday.
~Mary
Tiffany and I had a major breakthrough on my last day teaching her class. My co-op and I both noticed her getting more and more confident in music class throughout the 9 weeks I was there. I think she really just needed someone to sit by her and show her that she was special! On the last day of class, we were playing an ETM game, (look it up if you don't know what that is) and I glanced over at Tiffany to see her smiling and singing away. LOUD! Later on in the class, she actually talked in a loud voice and contributed to a conversation without being called on. It was like nothing I had seen from her, and I was proud!
So, those aren't all the details on the Ms. Blazier/Tiffany relationship, but I could probably write a book if i were to include those, so I'll just leave you that bit of backstory. Let's continue. My last day at my elementary school was her last day...well it was supposed to be. Mom was moving in with a boyfriend in another town a couple hours away, so tiffany was going with her. I found out a couple days before our last day, but Mom pulled her out of school the day after our great music class, so I never got to say goodbye. I was heartbroken. I mean, I wanted to adopt this kid, I didn't want to never see her again!
I learned a lot from this experience, about teaching, about faith, and about God. Ultimately, I learned that I can make a different in kids lives through teaching. I don't know why it was me that helped her, I don't why she let me help her, but I saw a change in her, and that gives me hope. I also learned that there comes a point where I can do no more. After many prayers and even some tears, I realized that I had done all I could do for Tiffany, and that God had to be the one to take care of her. I would say that leaving her in the hands of the one that spoke her into being is a pretty safe bet, but it's still hard to let go. I know it probably seems like I am being over dramatic about this girl, maybe I am, maybe i'm not... but to me, her moving was SO SAD. I will never ever forget this little girl, and the pure but dampened light inside her!
Two days ago I walked into a restaurant with my family. Walking past a table I heard cries of "MS BLAZIER!!!!!!!" Haha, one of my second graders and one of my 1st graders were seated at a table near us. We made some small talk and everybody was happy to reconnect after several months. Once I sat down, I looked over at another table near us. There, smiling, laughing and talking with the people with her, was a little girl with wavy blonde hair and a special look in her eye. At first I didn't think it was Tiffany, just someone who looked like her. Already, I was starting to get a little emotional. I hadn't thought about her in a little while, and just the thought of the her filled me with bittersweet emotions. Eventually the little girl caught my eye, and once I realized that she recognized me, I knew for SURE that it was her. I started smiling like you wouldn't believe! I almost cried when I heard her laugh. She was so happy! We started playing our "I'm going to pay attention to you, but ooonnnly so much" game again. Eventually, heart pounding because I didn't know the two adults she was with, I walked up to her table to say hello. I had seen them looking over at me, so I knew she had been telling her guardians about me. But, Zap, Tiffany went back into shy mode. I said hi and she barely looked at me, and it was just like in the classroom. I met her dad, and he is an very genuinely nice person! I liked him a lot! We had a nice little conversation - I told him how special she was to me and how much I loved having her in class, and went back to my table.
About ten minutes later, Tiffany got out of her chair holding a piece of paper. She took one step towards me, then went back to her chair. This went on for a good 5 minute, each time she got a little closer to me, before she got scared. She eventually got to me, and handed me a note, one side from her dad, and one side from her. The side from her says, "Thank you, love Tiffany"
The side from her dad was beautiful, it spoke of how much she "adores" me, and how shy she is, and other really touching things, including mention of her rough life. I won't lie, I cried right in the middle of the restaurant when I got it. So, I wrote her a little note back and went to say thank you to her dad. Tiffany gave me a hug (which was really meaningful, because I had wanted to give her a hug goodbye when I left my school), and her dad and I agreed that there was just something special about this girl!
On this post it may just sound cheesy, or over dramatic, or crazy, but even my family who had heard only a little about Tiffany was moved to tears by this experience. It was so sad and yet so happy. To see her smiling and laughing filled me with so much joy and hope, but her shyness reminded me that her road to healing will be a long one. This experience was truly an gift from God. I had made peace with the fact that I was probably never going to see her again, and there she was. It was the perfect closure to my student teaching (ironically on the same day that I finally got around to turning in my keys to my other school!) right before I moved to Springfield for good. Who knows if she will remember me in 5 years, but I can feel that the love I showed her has helped her, even in just a small way. I can't put in into words (even though this is a really long post.... if I had it all figured out, it wouldn't be this long!), but for some reason, this little girl has changed me. She has strengthened my resolve to nurture and love kids in a way that will help them become stable and loving people. She has helped me to realize that God is the ultimate teaching and nurturer, and i can only do what I do because of Him. She has helped me tremendously.
So, once I again I have to give her to God. I hope she lives with a parent who will love her and take care of her. I hope she has teachers who don't just look over her because of her shyness. I hope she knows that she is worth loving.
Maybe our paths will cross again someday.
~Mary
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